


freezing up

by this_isnt_my_darkest_fuckin_secret



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, bluh bluh im sad, may add to this another time, not explicit but still TW abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:09:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28277409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/this_isnt_my_darkest_fuckin_secret/pseuds/this_isnt_my_darkest_fuckin_secret
Summary: dave's friends start to take notice
Comments: 1
Kudos: 13





	1. Chapter 1

Rose is thinking about conversations with Dave.

They’re always fun, that’s for sure. He’s a lot to keep up with. He’ll be crafting a ridiculous monologue for her to find in their Pesterchum chat some days, and she’ll always take the bait because admittedly, she’s interested to see where on earth it’ll go, and it’s always funny, but at the same time Rose can’t help notice how much those conversations feel like Dave trying to ignore something else. It’s like talking to someone who is desperate not to wake the tiger on their bed. 

And once it’s crossed her mind, she starts to notice more and more. She prompts Dave to talk to her about his home, or his brother, and it’s like forcing two repelling magnets together. He’s so good at changing the subject that sometimes even she struggles to regain her train of thought. She’s too nervous to really push... she takes note of what she can through his rambles, careful not to tip him off; she just knows he would seal up completely if he realised what she was doing.

Suspicion grows in her head that when Dave says there’s no food in the apartment, it isn’t a figure of speech. 

.....

Jade is thinking about how weird Dave is. 

She’s known him long enough to understand his strange, half-joking way of talking. When they’d first become friends, he would talk about the puppets all around his house, about finding them in his room, and she would burst out laughing, thinking he was so funny. She’d gradually begun to accept that kind of stuff as actually true without ever really questioning it before. She knew his brother made the weird sex doll things, and she’d always thought he sounded like such a prankster, but...

What kind of prank even is that? Leaving dolls everywhere? Specifically gross sex dolls? Even in his bed? The more she thought about it the less funny it seemed, and when the joke of it wore off she started to realise it was kinda... worrying? He never specifically says that it’s a joke, or even that it’s funny.   
When he had mentioned that he found cameras in them sometimes, her stomach had dropped horribly.

She’s becoming increasingly certain that when Dave jokingly texts her about ‘feeling like he’s being watched’, he isn’t joking.

.....

John loves his friend and all, but sometimes he can’t help but be frustrated.

It’s not that he doesn’t think Dave is super cool, or badass, cos he really does! He’s the Most Cool, the Most Badass! It’s just that... that when Dave comes back from a ‘strife’ with his Bro, and he tells him that he’s fine, but John can tell he’s been wounded, and his typing is all messy again... John doesn’t understand why Dave chooses to strife so much when it must be really awful for him. Sometimes Dave will try and show off a new wound as if he’s proud of it to John, but his voice is ever so slightly strained, and John may be an idiot (wait, hey) but he can see right through his stupid Cool façade. 

Sometimes, under his shades, he looks just a bit like he’s been crying.

Sometimes, he has bruises that don’t really look like they came from a trip or a fall.

John finally realises what ‘strifes’ actually are, and that realisation comes like ice down his spine. 

.....

It dawns on the three of them that Dave might not even realise it, but...

He’s crying out for help.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> rose tries to start a tough conversation

“You know, there really is something about hanging out in person.” 

Rose’s head tilted from her book to better address Dave, who for some reason has to sit on every chair like he’s never seen one before, and was currently sprawled over the couch with his feet in different area codes. He looked up from the notepad he’d been scribbling on.

“Yeah, I kinda get that. It’s like, hey, I should talk to my homegirl, where’s my computer, oh wait never mind, there you are, oh holy shit.”

“It’s nice to have company that I don’t immediately want to hide from.”

She knows she shouldn’t really have said that. Knows it was a bit of a push, and she’d told herself not to do that. Any other person, unaware of how close to a nerve they were, probably wouldn’t have noticed how he stiffened, either. 

“Yeah, that too,” Came his reply, just a tad quieter, as he passed it off with a shrug and looked back down at his drawing.

Rose knew she was going to feel bad if she never tried to bring it up with him. He was her friend, one of her best friends, and she loved him so much, and she couldn’t stand just ignoring it anymore. Ever since the pieces had begun falling into place, she had discreetly been trying to nudge Dave into telling her about what living with his Bro had been like, and what he’d done to him. She knew Dave well enough to know he wasn’t the type to just come out with it, but...

“...Dave?”

“Huh?”

Like she was trying to steel herself, Rose stood from her seat and closed her book, placing it behind her. Dave’s eyes flicked from it to her as she stepped a little closer, as if he was trying to figure out if he was in trouble or not. She sat on the other end of the couch, and he shifted up a bit so she could face him directly. She’d thought that this would make it easier, but now, trying to make eye contact through his shades as his eyebrow twitched in confusion, she just felt nervous.

“Dave, I much prefer living here with the others and you than I did back at my home,” she started, “and I think that you do, too.” 

Dave made no effort to speak. He just listened.

“I don’t really think our experiences with our guardians were really the same, though. I... I think that...” 

Rose looked to the side for a second to compose herself. Dave still hadn’t moved to speak, but his shoulders were tensed, and he was looking directly at the floor between them. Rose took a breath but continued, keeping her tone purposefully level.

“I think that, from what you’ve told me, and what I’ve sort of read between the lines of what it was like to live with Bro-” 

Dammit.

Her and her big mouth. Dave had twitched at the name – he rolled his shoulders and sniffed to play it off, but she knew, and he knew she knew.

“Fuck, Dave, I’m sorry. I don’t want to be out of place but I think you know what I’m trying to say.”

It took him a second to speak.

“He... I mean, shit, it wasn’t... I, uh.”

It wasn’t unlike Dave to be careless over his words but this was different, and it felt awful.

“It was fine.” 

He wasn’t being harsh, not at all – he spoke like he believed it, but... god, did he believe it? Rose couldn’t fucking stand it; she felt her stomach turn. 

“It wasn’t fine,” Rose’s voice finally cracked, and she cursed it as she made eye contact once more, struggling to hide how upset she had become.

“It... it shouldn’t have...happened to you...” she wanted to take Dave’s hands but she felt like she couldn’t move – her hands were jittery with the effort to not cry.

“Dave, I just – it’s not fine...”

She trailed off again, and this time she had to pause for a deep breath. Dave was...

Dave was perfectly still, hands in his lap, shoulders hunched. He had opened his mouth to speak again but nothing came out. They sat there for the kind of silence that feels like a week has passed. 

“I love you, Dave.”

She didn’t know what else to say. She gave up on trying to speak about Dave’s brother - she couldn’t. The words were too much; they felt too heavy in her mouth, too harsh. She shifted forward and pulled Dave into a hug, not waiting for a response.

She felt his arms awkwardly try to hold her back, and she squeezed tighter, just holding him. She felt his face press against her shoulder.

...

One hand on his back, the other holding his head. 

It was only until she felt him break down underneath her that she managed not to cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not sure if this turned out how i wanted it to, but ill see where im going with it. probably not my last work on this 
> 
> also, not meant to be rose/dave. just no. surrogate family love is so fucking important to me, and also they're sIBLINGS

**Author's Note:**

> might add to this if anybody is interested in it


End file.
